How to avoid workplace drama. Getting off the (Not So) Merry Go Round of Conflict.
Navigate life’s tensions with strategies. People who love peace must learn to organise themselves as well as those who love war– Martin Luther King Sometimes we need to put work in to resolve disputes. It is easy to get into a cycle where we believe that certain actions are intentionally directed against us with a […]
Honest without Being Obnoxious, how to communicate well in conflict.
Radical Candour How to be honest without being obnoxious. I have recently read the book Radical Candor by Kim Scott (and for the spelling bees among you—I had to add the “u” in the title, but the author is American, so she spells it without one). I found it really helpful on how to handle conflict and […]
Distance Causes Distortion
Whether by geography or through technology, when we are not face to face, there is an element of distance which can lead to misinterpretations. Years ago a friend said to me “distance causes distortion”. At the time I wasn’t a mediator but I remember thinking how helpful that was for so many relationships. Now I […]
Illuminators or Diminishers
Are You an Illuminator?I recently read How to Know a Person by David Brooks. The subtitle is The Art of Seeing Others and Being Deeply Seen. While Brooks offers useful tools for handling difficult conversations, helpful in conflict resolution, the most impactful idea for me was his description of people being either Diminishers and Illuminators. […]
How to have a learning conversation:
Explore each other’s stories aiming to understand the situation. Share what impact it had on you and ask what impact it had on them. Try to understand the contribution you could have made. Understanding our own impact and part in the conflict can help others to then see theirs too. Describe your own feelings and […]
“Intentions are invisible…we assume we know the intentions of others when we don’t.”
In a dispute we often look for agreement and fail to get it. What we should be aiming for is respect and understanding. We may not change our opinions but can we change the lens in which we see the dispute. In the book Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen. It […]
The Keys to having Crucial Conversations
How to have Crucial ConversationsPeople often ask me whether being a mediator means I never experience conflict in my own life. I wish! The truth is, we all have different opinions, views, and ways of responding to situations. I know how hard it can be when conversations are strained, people are icy and you can […]